Sex Can Sell
When the Glee club gets on the controversial subject of sex and being celibate, things get started. The class seperates into two singing groups: the Sluts and the Prudes. Meanwhile, Mr. Dawson and Coach Stone tries to show just how important it is to be safe. Joey and Tyler have a sexy off to see just who's the sexiest. Episode 3: Sex Can Sell Narrator: ''Last time on the Harmonics: Joey found out he required a performing arts credit and was forced to join Glee club. The Glee club had a big assembly to try and gain members. Sadly, the only thing it gained them was a bucket full of slushie. Delilah and Nasia still don't get along because Nasia's lusting for Joey. Mark's still jealous that John got quarterback and wants John to suffer. Delilah and Nasia joined Glee club to get closer to Joey, which is really awkward for him. The Glee kids sung Edge Of Glory, and for some reason Shan didn't participate. Weird, right? And that's what you missed on the Harmonics!'' ---- Coach Willis walked down the gym. "Anyways, Joey felt me up last night. I came so close to sleeping with him." Delilah said to one of her cheerleading friends. Coach Willis stopped and looked at Delilah in horror. "Ms. LeBlanc! That is nothing you need to be discussing right now. Go run a mile this instant!" Coach Willis said repulsed. Mr. Dawson sat in the teacher's lounge eating his lunch. Coach Willis walked over and pulled the chair out to sit in it. "Brian, we need to talk. I over heard one of your Glee club kid's, and my star cheerleader discussing sexual activity. And it got me really thinking about it. They need to be educated. I mean, just think how bad it would be if she got pregnant. She's my star cheerleader. And who knows if she even knows what protection is, lets face it, she's a whore." Mr. Dawson dropped his mouth in awe. "You can't just call students whores. That's really rude. And besides, I do agree with you about the protection part. I have heard some of the boys talking about their sexcapades. They really don't know the first thing about being safe. I agree that they need to be properly taught, but parents aren't too fond on sex education. But I could teach my Glee club a little bit about that!" Mr. Dawson said putting his food back in his lunch box. "Thanks, Coach!" ---- Mr. Dawson got his black dry erase marker and wrote on the board: Sex Sells. Everyone looked at each other shocked. "I talked to Coach Willis today, and she brought up something very interesting, sex education. I know that's a touchy topic, but lets face the truth here, you don't know anything about being safe. And nowadays music encourages you to sleep with people. It says it's okay to have random one night stands with other people. But they fail to mention the dangers of it." Mr. Dawson said clipping the cap back on. Shan looked sickened. "I really think this is a disgusting thing to talk about." Shan said crossing her arms. Delilah looked at her. "Shut the hell up, Shan. You whine so much. Quit being a little baby." Delilah said annoyed. "Delilah, you don't have to be so rude. Shan can have opinion too." Brandon said patting Shan on the back. Delilah turned her head back. "Excuse me, I don't think I asked Glinda the Gay Witch for his opinion." Delilah said turning her head back to the front. Brandon dropped his mouth in shock. Mr. Dawson regained their attention. "Anyways, your lesson is to sing songs about sex, or staying celibate. You can be paired into two teams." Delilah raised her hand. "Who thinks we should have the Sluts and the Prudes." Everyone raised their hand, "Okay, good. There you go, Mr. Dawson. Cased closed." The bell rang and everyone left the room. ---- The next day the teams were made. Joey, Tom, Tyler, and Delilah joined the Sluts. While Brandon, Ellie, and Nasia joined the Prudes. "Are you sure you don't want to join the Prudes with us, Shan?" Ellie asked sheepishly. Shan turned and cocked her head. "No. I'm against this. Right now, you guys are disgusting." Shan said coldly. Delilah looked over at her. "Eh, let the little virgin cry. I'd hate to see what her honeymoon will be like." Most of the club started laughing. Shan's face turned red. Mr. Dawson walked into the room. "Okay, Brandon, Ellie, Nasia, you said you had a song you'd like to sing?" The group walked over to the center. Ellie: You held my hand and walked me home, I know When you gave me that kiss it was something like this it made me go ooh ohh You wiped my tears, got rid of all my fears, why did you have to go? Guess it wasn't enough to take up some of my love Guys are so hard to trust Did I not tell you that I'm not like that girl? The one who gives it all away, yeah Brandon: Did you think that I was gonna give it up to you, this time? Did you think that it was somethin I was gonna do and cry? Don't try to tell me what to do, Dont try to tell me what to say, You're better off that way Nasia: Don't think that your charm and the fact that your arm is now around my neck Will get you in my pants I'll have to kick your ass and make you never forget I'm gonna ask you to stop, thought I liked you a lot, but I'm really upset Get out of my head get off of my bed yeah thats what I said Did I not tell you that I'm not like that girl, the one who, throws it all away This guilt trip that you put me on won't, '' ''Mess me up I've done no wrong Any thoughts of you have gone away. All: Better off that way I'm better off alone anyway Everyone clapped for them, except for Shan. "That was really good, guys!" Mr. Dawson said. Nasia walked by Joey. "You sounded great, Nasia." Joey said blushing. Delilah grunted and kicked Joey's ankle. "Remember me, your girlfriend?" Delilah said reminding Joey of their relationship. ---- The Glee club sat in their seats in the choir room. Delilah rushed in with a grin on her face. "I have a song I'd like to sing, Mr. Dawson." Delilah rushed Tyler, Tom, and Joey out of their seats. Lets get this going. Delilah pulled out a whip from behind one of the chairs. Shan rolled her eyes as she sat next to Brandon and Nasia. Delilah with the Sluts: Na na na Come on Na na na Come on Na na na na na Come on Na na na Come on Come on Come on Na na na na Come on Na na na Come on Na na na na na Come on Na na na Come on Come on Come on Na na na na Delilah: Feels so good being bad There's no way I'm turning back Now the pain is my pleasure Cause nothing could measure '' ''Love is great, love is fine Out the box, out of line The affliction of the feeling Leaves me wanting more Cause I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it'' Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it Sticks and stones may break my bones But chains and whips excite me '''Delilah with the Sluts: Na na na Come on, come on, come on I like it-like it Come on, come on, come on I like it-like it '' ''Come on, come on, come on I like it-like it Come on, come on, come on I like it-like it Delilah: Love is great, love is fine Out the box, out of line The affliction of the feeling Leaves me wanting more Delilah: Cause I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it'' Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it Sticks and stones may break my bones But chains and whips excite me '''Delilah with the Sluts: Na na na Come on, come on, come on I like it-like it Come on, come on, come on I like it-like it '' ''Come on, come on, come on I like it-like it Come on, come on, come on I like it-like it Delilah with the sluts: S...S...S And M...M...M S...S...S And M...M...M Delilah finished and sat her whip on the piano. "Perfection, I know." Delilah said sitting down. Shan looked over at Delilah with a repulsed look. "That was horrid. You make yourself look like a hoe. And honestly, that's only going to make all of us think you're easy." Shan said turning her head back to the front. "Okay, no. No, we aren't doing this. Listen little miss virgin. I get no one has been down there because of your weird beliefs. But don't hate the player for enjoying the game. Two things can happen here: you can shut up, and get over your Veggie Tale lessons your parents or church forced you to watch, or I will have to throw you down. Which I just got my nails done by my lovely Asian immigrants. So don't make me have to do that. K? Great. I'm glad we resolved that." Shan ran out of the room crying. "Delilah, you're such a bitch!" Nasia screamed. "I was being honest. Someone need to tell Mary Poppins the truth, and I thought I'd be best to do it." ---- The bell rang and the Glee club started. Ellie walked in with an announcement. "Okay, I've decided I'm on both sides. I think it's great to be celibate, but I also think that sex can be...good. And I have a song for all of us." Ellie: '''I was feeling done in Couldn't win I'd only ever kissed before '''Nasia and Brandon: You mean she? Uh huh Ellie: I thought there's no use getting Into heavy sweating It only leads to trouble And bad fretting Now all I want to know Is how to go I've tasted blood and I want more Nasia and Brandon: More, more, more! Ellie: I'll put up no resistance I want to stay the distance I've got an itch to scratch I need assistance Touch-a touch-a touch-a touch me I wanna be dirty Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me Creature of the night Then if anything shows While you pose I'll oil you up And drop you down Nasia and Brandon: Down, down, down! Ellie: And that's just one small fraction Of the main attraction Are you a friendly man? And I need action Touch-a touch-a touch-a touch me I wanna be dirty Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me Creature of the night Nasia: Touch-a touch-a touch-a touch me I wanna be dirty Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me Creature of the night Ellie'':'' Oh, touch-a touch-a touch-a touch me I wanna be dirty Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me Creature of the night Joey: Creature of the night Tom: Creature of the night? Tyler: Creature of the night Delilah: Creature of the night Brandon: Creature of the night Nasia: Creature of the night Joey: Creature of the night Ellie: Creature of the night "Very good!" Mr. Dawson cheered. They all took their seats. "Has anyone seen Shan?" Nasia asked worriedly. Delilah turned to her. "Really? Who cares. She's such a freak!" Shan sat out the door listening. She started crying. It wasn't her fault she was against this lesson. She ran down the hall. ---- When the bell rang only Tyler and Joey stayed. "You said you wanted to talk to me?" Joey said confused. Tyler picked his bag up and looked at Joey. "Yes. I want a sexy off. I want them to also decide who the male lead should be." Tyler said. Joey looked appalled. "Does that really matter? I mean, I think this is kind of dumb." Tyler got red. "Yes, it matters to me! I intend to win. So yes or no?" Joey thought about it for a moment. "Okay, fine." Tyler handed him lyrics. "Sexy and I Know It. Learn the song. We'll be competing with this." Tyler left the classroom and headed home. Joey stood there feeling confused and awkward. ---- "Okay guys! Brandon, Ellie, and Nasia said they had something they would like to perform. So be respectful." Mr. Dawson said staring Delilah down. Ellie and Nasia: Say a little prayer for you Brandon: The moment I wake up Before I put on my make-up Ellie and Nasia: Make-up Brandon: I say a little (Ellie and Nasia: prayer for you) While combing my hair now And wondering what dress to wear now Ellie and Nasia: Wear now Brandon: I say a little (Ellie and Nasia: prayer for you) Brandon with Nasia and Ellie: Forever, forever, You'll stay in my heart and I will love you Forever, and ever, We never will part, oh how I love you Together, together, That's how it must be to live without you (Ellie and Nasia: Would only mean) heartbreak for me Brandon: I run for the bus dear While riding I think of us dear Ellie and Nasia: Us dear Brandon: I say a little (Ellie '''and Nasia': prayer for you) At work I just take time And all through my coffee break-time '''Ellie and Nasia': Break time Brandon: I say a little (Ellie '''and Nasia': prayer for you) '''Brandon with Nasia and Ellie': Forever, forever, You'll stay in my heart and I will love you Forever, and ever, We never will part, oh how I love you Together, together, That's how it must be to live without you Would only mean heartbreak for me The club generously clapped for Brandon, Nasia, and Ellie. "That was the hardest thing for me to watch. I can see why you three are honestly celibate. I don't think it was your choices to be." Delilah said. Mr. Dawson stared her down. "I mean, that was great! Bravo!" Delilah said as she blew kisses for all of them. The three rolled their eyes and went back to their seats. "Okay, the bell is about to ring. So tomorrow Joey and Tyler will perform their sing-off. Be respectful and vote fairly." The bell rang and the kids left the room. ---- When the next meeting arrived everyone had to decide who they were going to vote for, Tyler or Joey? "Okay guys! Here is the big performance!" Tyler said rubbing his hands together. Tyler: Yeah, yeah When I walk on by, girls be looking like damn he fly I pimp to the beat, walking on the street in my new lafreak, yeah This is how I roll, animal print, pants outta control, It's Redfoo with the big afro And like Bruce Leroy I got the glow Ah... Girl look at that body x3 Ah... I work out Ah... Girl look at that body x3 Ah... I work out Joey: '''When I walk in the spot (yeah), this is what I see (ok) Everybody stops and they staring at me I got passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it, show it, show it, show it '''Tyler: I'm sexy and I know it x2 Joey: Yeah When I'm at the mall, security just can't fight them off And when I'm at the beach, I'm in a Speedo trying to tan my cheeks (what) This is how I roll, come on ladies it's time to go We headed to the bar, baby don't be nervous No shoes, no shirt, and I still get serviced (watch) Ah... Girl look at that body x3 Ah... I work out Ah... Girl look at that body x3 I work out Tyler: When I walk in the spot (yeah), this is what I see (ok) Everybody stops and they staring at me I got passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it, show it, show it, show it Joey: I'm sexy and I know it x2 Tyler: I'm sexy and I know it... Tyler and Joey: Check it out x2 Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle yeah x3 Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle yeah, yeah Do the wiggle man I do the wiggle man Yeah I'm sexy and I know it Ah... Girl look at that body x3 Ah... I work out Ah... Girl look at that body x3 Ah... I work out Yeah I'm sexy and I know it! "That was the second gayest thing I've ever seen, coming right behind Brandon." Delilah said bluntly. Mr. Dawson shot her another look. Delilah stopped insulting and decided to vote. "Well, I vote Joey. He's my man." Mr. Dawson looked to Ellie. "I vote Tyler. I think he has the stronger vocals." Tyler put a quick smile on his face. "I vote Joey." Nasia said smiling straight at him, displeasing Delilah. "I vote Joey." Brandon said. "I vote Tyler." Tom said giving a thumbs up to Tyler. Mr. Dawson counted the votes. "Okay, Joey wins by one more point! Good job, Joey. You're the new male lead!" Tyler looked the club angrily. "Come on! It was so biased!" Mr. Dawson looked at Tyler. I'm sorry, buddy. But I think one reason is also because he's a senior. So this is his only chance to guide us." Tyler walked out of the room in rage. "That was childish." Delilah said hugging Joey. ---- When the Glee club kids walked into the choir room they noticed Mr. Rimes sitting in the room. "Take a seat, everyone." Mr. Rimes said a little annoyed. Everyone sat down in the choir room seats and gave him their attention. "A little birdy told me you guys were singing sexual songs in here. And well, I'm nipping it in the bud right now. No more of this silly sexual week." Everyone groaned and looked at Shan. Mr. Rimes left the room. "Wow, thanks, Shan. You're a buzz kill." Delilah said. Shan turned around and glanced at her. "I did what I had to. I didn't feel comfortable with this theme. It's time you got over it. You had your fun. Now lets go back to having normal assignments." Delilah gritted her teeth. Joey tried to get her to calm down. Mr. Dawson looked shamefully at Shan. "You should've came to me about this. You didn't have to get all of us in trouble, Ms. Hale. But none the less, she's right. I was being unprofessional, and we need to get ready for Sectionals. This was getting in our way! I have some sheet music to start practicing! Now lets get to work!" Mr. Dawson said excitedly. Songs: * Don't Tell Me 'by ''Avril Lavigne. ''Sung by ''the Prudes * 'I Wanna Sex You Up '''by ''Color Me Bad. Sung by the Sluts * 'S&M '''by ''Rihanna. ''Sung by ''Delilah with the Sluts. * 'Toucha Toucha Touch Me '''by The ''Rocky Horror Picture Show. ''Sung by ''Ellie ''with ''the Prudes and Sluts *'''I Say A Little Prayer For You by Dionne Warwick. Sung by Brandon with Ellie and Nasia * Sexy and I Know It 'by ''LMFAO. ''Sung by ''Tyler King and Joey Mitchell Cast: *''Brandon Day'' portrayed by '''Brendan Dooling *''Ellie Hawthorne'' portrayed by Jemima West *''Tyler King'' portrayed by Zac Efron *''Tom Parker portrayed by '''Andrew Garfield' *''Joey Mitchell'' portrayed by Brant Daughtery *''Delilah LeBlanc'' portrayed by Vanessa Morgan *''Nasia Artist portrayed by '''Alicia Josipovic' *''Mr. Dawson portrayed by '''Justin Timberlake' *''Shan Hale'' portrayed by Crystal Reed Special Guest Star: *''Coach Willis portrayed by '''Sophia Bush' Absent: *''Mauricio Dixon portrayed by '''Sam Clafin' *''John Ryder'' portrayed by Josh Hutcherson *''Mark Criss portrayed by '''Ausin Butler' *''Pevita Miller portrayed by '''Katherine McNamara' Trivia: *Brendan Dooling, Jemima West, and Alicia Josipovic learned the dance to "I Say A Little Prayer For You" prior to filming the pilot. Although it wasn't filmed until episode three. *This marks the second time Crystal Reed doesn't participate in any of the group numbers. *Brandon's first solo of the season. *The first episode to only feature Glee club members. Category:Episodes